Tuesday, December 12, 2006

T'is the season to be shopping. Or selling.

In honour of the Shopping Season, and somewhat inspired by Comic Strip Hero's random rant about annoying shop assistants, I've decided to list some of my own retail pet hates - from both sides of the counter. Feel free to add your own ...

As a customer

1. 'That looks really good on you.'
Yeah, right. What else are you going to say?

2. 'You know what everyone's wearing with that at the moment?'
Do I look like I'm sixteen and get my fashion advice from Paris Hilton and friends?

3. Sales assistant looking aggrieved when you decide not to buy something that 's been recommended.
Operative word: buy. With my money. It's not like I didn't appreciate your gift.

4. Ambush you as soon as you glance at something: 'Oh, I love that, don't you?'

5. Pouncing on you as soon as you walk through the door. 'Hiiiii, how are yooouuu?'
I know some of them are forced to do it. I still hate it.

6. People who call you 'love'.

As a counter slave

1. 'They have that cheaper at Borders/KMart/Myers, you know.'
Then buy it there.

2. 'Can I get a discount?'
'Why is that?'
'Well, you never know if you don't ask, do you?'
Actually, you do. It's not a street market.

3. Customer talking on a mobile phone while they are being served. ESPECIALLY if they approach the counter, hand you their purchase while talking, and roll their eyes as if to say 'I'm on the phone!' if you ask them a question. Like, 'is that cheque or savings?'

4. Waiting until the store lights are out and it's one minute past closing time to ask complicated questions involving tracking down 'that book with the blue cover, reviewed last month in the Age'.

5. Celebrities who give you the 'you do know who I am, don't you?' look when you serve them, combined with an imperious air. Usually they hail from the B or C list.

6. People who call you 'love'.


redcap said...

I'm afraid these are all from a shopper's point of view, because I've never been on the other side of the counter.

Sales assistants who just open the changeroom door without warning, exposing your barely-clad arse to everyone in the shop.

Snooty Kath and Kim Sales assistants who ignore you because you don't look as though you have enough money for them to bother. After all, you're obviously not going to buy anything looking that pov, are you?

Shoe people who ask if you'd like to purchase shoe polish when you buy new shoes. Clothes people don't ask if you'd like some Omo.

Groups of two or more sales assistants who conduct conversations behind the counter while I'm standing there with steam coming out of my ears.

Jeans girls who say, "Oh, just put them on and sit on the couch for a while - they'll stretch." Take it from me: they don't.

Just a few of the reasons why I detest shopping with every ounce of my being :)

Ariel said...

Yes, I would've counted 1), 4) and 5) if I remembered them. Definitely pet hates. I like to avoid snooty shops because they are depressing - I know I don't have enough money to bother! And haven't come across the shoe polish people.

Audrey said...

YOu work in book retail, I can tell.

"Have you got that book by that guy who's kind of famous?"

So glad I'm out of that gig. It threatens to destroy your love for the reading.

Ariel said...

I don't (work in book retail), but I did, yes. My husband still does, and he reminds me of all these awful things with his stories. In fact, just seeing him come home with that 'retail Christmas' face reminds me! And ditto.